I was fingerprinted and cleared of any state or federal wrongdoing. No record of forgery, arson, maiming, child-selling or keeping a disorderly house — although I dodged a bullet with the last one. There are usually dishes in the sink and laundry unfolded (how do you fold fitted sheets?). Despite my domestic transgressions, I was invited to attend an orientation for substitute teachers. The word “mandatory” was used, but I preferred to think of myself as invited.
Either way, Plan B was under way.
If you need another sign of the country’s unemployment, attend an orientation for substitute teachers — if you can get a seat. It was standing room only at a Baltimore County public high school, as I sat with pencil and paper taking notes on the dangers of blood-borne pathogens, how to keep students on task, how to be positive but not overly friendly, and how to get paid $82.92 for a day’s work. Younger and older people were there, but more middle-aged men attended than I had expected. Guess that’s why this unemployment streak has been nicknamed a man-cession.