Tongue in Cheek Solution

I have noticed a movement about MMSD. There seems to be the following needs:
1. Make each grade/class the same across the district so that all
students have a equitable distribution of funds, resources, and knowledge. (Connected math, FOSS science, middle school curriculm, and West English)
2. Great concern from “legal” I assume that food, animals, and flammable paper present a hazard to the students and potentially invite a lawsuit. (pet proposal, upcoming food proposal to eliminate any homemade food in the school, and the fire code issue)
3. Boundary changes to solve growth and income disparity which causes financial stress on the district. (Task forces, failed referendum, spending cap)
So here’s the solution:

I have a “solution” to help all these problems in one. The #1 health hazard to my children, I have learned over the years,are the other students my children attend school with and the germs they carry. So I propose we stop sending our children to school. We should purchase laptops for each student, pay for (or maybe Dave will provide) internet service for each household and teach all the students via the internet. Sale the buildings, fire the teachers, ditch the bus contracts and have a totally germ free, fire free, income disparity free, curriculm EXACTLY THE same throughout the entire virtual school district. One teacher could be retained to teach each grade level so all students receive exactly the same lesson. High schools could offer the same courses just the experience of group discusssion, band, and choir might not be the same.
This solves money issues, contract issues, disparity issues of every kind, and those germ and allergy issues that seem to plague our schools. It eliminates the growth problem and the need for more buildings. I was thinking we could keep the high schools for physical activity, but I can’t figure out how they can play team sports without getting germs or how to have coaches that would provide students with the EXACT same experience……I’ll have to keep working on that.

6 thoughts on “Tongue in Cheek Solution”

  1. Hi Mary Kay:
    Your tongue in cheek solution is worth a conversation.
    A large university planner recently asked an IP email list I participate in what people thought the classrooms of the future (2016+) might look like? Will we use facilities in the same manner we do now? Will learning become more virtual? (yes – in my view) What does that mean for facilities planning?
    Food for thought and discussion.

  2. No problem on the sports teams! Virtual gaming! Duh!
    Debate teams can debate by conference call and video teleconferencing.

  3. Jim,
    While it’s tongue and cheek you have to admit it solves a host of problems. Some dreamed up by bored lawyers but others that are real and have very expensive and complicated solutions. So maybe only half my tongue is in my cheek.

  4. I pity the kid who’s family can only afford a dial up connection. Every assignment will be turned in late!

  5. I could then teach in my slippers and pj’s! (Presuming I am not one of the teachers fired)
    Troy Dassler

  6. And here is the catch–not every kid will have a parent at home to keep them on task, or feed them breakfast or lunch, or act as their social worker, or all the non-learning things that the schools try to do.

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