“The more, the merrier,” says Vincent Day, who has separate clusters of close friends, some revolving around music, some around work, others from his kids’ school and a half-dozen from high school. Day, who comes from a family of nine children, makes friends easily and values rich and varied ties.
“I call people all the time. I’m just one of those types of people,” he says.
The number of people we consider close friends changes over time, peaking in our teens and early 20s and shrinking as we get busier with kids, work and aging parents. With less free time, we tend to become more selective about who we share it with, focusing on the most meaningful connections.
Many of us lose friends over time. People drift away, physically and emotionally.
Jeffrey Hall, professor of communications studies at the University of Kansas, doesn’t have a magic friend number, but says there are downsides to extremes.
Having no friends can make a person terribly lonely. Having only one friend that you depend on for everything can leave a person floundering if something happens to that person.