Hard Parenting, Better Relationships: New Evidence

Lyman Stone

We recently surveyed 24,000 parents around the United States. One question we asked is on a lot of parents’ minds: how difficult is parenting? Many parents feel stressed or burdened by raising kids and would like to make it easier: 7.4% of parents in our survey say parenting is “very hard,” and 36.5% say it is “fairly hard.” We wondered if our data could point to ways in which parents could lighten their own load—both because we think parents could use a break, and because parents who describe parenting as easier are likelier to say they will have more children. Controlling for the number of kids, 48% of those who say parenting is very easy intend more children, vs. 38% of those who say parenting is fairly easy, 35% of those who say parenting is fairly hard, and 33% of those who say parenting is very hard. When parenting is too hard, fewer children are born.

Highlights

  1. Parenting feels easier when parents feel their partners and the surrounding community are more supportive, per new IFS survey. Post This 
  2. Parental-enforced rules are associated with better relationships with kids, both in the parent’s own assessment and in the assessments of the teens we surveyed. Post This 
  3. For dads, parenting feels hardest when kids are under 2, and easiest when kids are 9 to 11. For moms, parenting tends to feel easiest when kids are under 2, and hardest when kids are 4 to 7. Post This 

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