I’m Fascinated By The Sex Gurus Of Cornell University
Yang found out about these materials from Jared Lederman, a Cornell senior who argued against Cornell’s approach to sex education and advocacy from a traditionalist-ish perspective on his Substack. “I have spent the last several years surrounded by the carefree sexual culture I am describing, and having watched what happens when sex is severed from commitment, I have come to believe that sexual intimacy belongs within a committed relationship, accompanied by loyalty, responsibility, and exclusivity,” he wrote. “I am not suggesting Cornell need adopt this outlook on sex; I am merely advocating it not espouse the polar opposite.”
I want to separate out the question of school-produced programming from the question of what sorts of events students at Cornell want to put on (Lederman does dip into the latter a bit). I think the latter is a silly thing to spend much energy worrying about. Student groups tend to have a set budget per year or semester, and if they want to put on some sort of pro-kink event, these are all legal adults (albeit young ones). As long as everything is safe and legal, and as long as the university doesn’t interfere when other students from different backgrounds want to put on, like, a pro-abstinence puppet show(?), who cares? Part of being a college student is figuring out what matters to you, whether and how you want to express yourself, and all that. I’d much rather colleges err on the side of laxity rather than nannying when it comes to student activities and speech, even on private campuses where schools can legally intervene more than they can on public ones.
It’s two other questions I’m seeing get more play online. The first is whether there’s a causal relationship between Cornell Health’s sex education offerings and what happened in that frat house. As the New York Post put it in a headline, “Cornell handed students raunchy sex checklist discussing ‘three partners at a time’ — which could’ve led to frat orgies: critics.”
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More.
Let’s be clear:
If I’m not going to sleep with you, I don’t need to know anything about your sexuality.
And children—who are not going to sleep with anyone—certainly don’t.
Your sexuality is not sacred. It’s not a personality, it’s not a protected class of performance art, and it’s not the center of anyone’s moral universe but your own. Unless we are in a relationship, I am not obligated to acknowledge, affirm, or be exposed to your private desires—especially not in public, and especially not in front of children.
This used to be understood. Now it’s called hate.
No, We Don’t Owe You an Audience
Sexuality belongs in the private realm. It is intimate by definition. If you feel compelled to wear your kink on your sleeve—or on a float, or in a first-grade classroom—you are not inviting understanding, you are demanding submission. You are violating others’ right not to participate.
