One estranged family member writes: ‘Forgive without being a doormat’
Estrangements between adult children and their parents are on the rise in the U.S., creating “a cultural tipping point,” according to William Doherty, a therapist and professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota, who spoke to WSJ’s Elizabeth Bernstein about it. Readers debated the reasons for the social shift—and whether it’s a problem exacerbated by social media or therapists themselves. Here, edited for space and clarity, are a selection of those comments.
I am a small town 70-year-old psychiatrist. I have seen many hundreds of patients horribly abused or neglected as children who rightfully abandoned their parents. I have only seen a couple of patients emotionally nourished as children who abandoned their parents. I see far more cases of adults horribly abused as children who cling to their former or active abusers due to a “trauma bond.” I suspect the rate of unfounded rejection as well as the rate of founded rejection of parents varies dramatically by location and socioeconomic class. Unfounded rejection of parents is likely the result of privilege (often encouraged by well-meaning therapists) while founded rejection of parents is much more common among those without privilege. Of course there are exceptions.—Joel Rice
