I admire Nikole Hannah-Jones’s choice. I am making a different one
Last year, parents at my son’s preschool learned that it had begun admitting students who got government assistance to cover their tuition. The school was suddenly much more diverse. I was glad to see more Black and brown kids, but I confess that I was also concerned; I called the school, asking how many of the new students would be in my son’s class. I joined a chorus of other parents complaining about my son mixing with the kids who, I assumed, were growing up with more problems at home—not because I didn’t know kids like that, but because I had been a kid like that. My mother was the one other parents judged at drop-off. And now I wanted my son as far away from the little Jenishas as possible.
Who am I becoming? I asked myself. I don’t have a good answer. I know that my thinking is distorted by a certain experience of American life. And unlike some other parents, I didn’t move my child to a different school. But my worries remained.
This is not, however, a story about why parents like me are better or worse than parents like Nikole. It’s not about the parents at all. Nikole’s daughter will be okay. She made it into a good high school, and she has a wonderful mom and dad to support and inspire her. No one needs to be angry about Nikole’s choices. What we should be angry about is America’s shameful educational system. What we should be angry about are the schools that are still failing so many other kids. As James Baldwin wrote, “The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality.”
I’ve always believed that I have a responsibility, especially as a Black woman who comes from a difficult background, to care about all kids in need. I fear I am betraying that when I choose what is best for my son and my son alone. But America should not force parents to make that kind of choice.
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“Did you know my school was bad like this when you decided to put me here?” she asked.
