When I told my (much younger) cousin Asad that I had sent several messages to people I had worked with, suggesting we collaborate, but hadn’t heard back, he didn’t seem surprised.
“That’s totally normal nowadays,” he said casually. “If you don’t get a response,” he explained, “it usually just means it’s not happening.”
“But why not just tell me there’s no budget, or that they’ll get back to me when they have an answer?” I asked him. “Anything but silence?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “But I can tell you I’m left hanging all the time when I approach someone who isn’t interested. That’s just the norm.”
It made me wonder whether, as job security has eroded and lifelong relationships with companies have disappeared, it has become easier to ignore people. When there is no expectation of a lasting relationship, and no real personal or emotional consequence, a message, a call, or an email can simply go unanswered.
Is ghosting, I wondered, the new “no?”
Now, I’m no saint in this department. People I don’t know sometimes approach me asking for favours, introductions, or the kind of “quick question” that somehow requires 45 minutes of my life, and I will admit that I have occasionally allowed those messages to drift into the digital wilderness.