The Seventies were less enlightened.
Back then we thought biology
Determined sex, and (don’t be frightened)
We called men “he” and women “she.”
In general, our social mores
Were still adapting to the forays
Of feminism’s second wave.
We worked out how we should behave,
Though, not from academic panels
Or gender theorists. No, our source
For moral wisdom was of course
That holy trinity of channels
(With PBS a fourth) by which
Our culture spilled into its ditch.
Indeed, the sentimental journey
That was my early childhood
Commenced with Big Bird, Bert, and Ernie
And wandered through the neighborhood
Where Mister Rogers hung his sweaters,
Electric companies taught letters,
And chubbildrubben subbang “zoom.”
Then, seeking some more elbow room
(Just like the song from Schoolhouse Rock goes)
It crossed the ocean to Japan
Where champions like Ultraman,
The Goldar team, and Johnny Sokko’s
Robotic pal would fight to cleanse
The earth of evil aliens.