I had a working mom, so I assumed my wife would be one, too. Clarissa Acuña, the woman I married, also planned on having a career of her own.
But we were both wrong. Clarissa hasn’t worked since the summer of 1991, shortly before she had delivered our third child.
At the time, it no longer made sense financially for her to work. After paying taxes on her wages and child care for three children, we wouldn’t have come out ahead.
[Cheapskate] Getty Images
But over the years, that fateful decision has locked us into two different roles. I work and earn. She takes care of the kids.
Having a stay-at-home wife has given me enormous career flexibility. Unlike some of my colleagues, I’ve never missed days because of a sick child. I’ve been able to work late when needed, travel whenever I wanted for stories, and move around the country for better jobs.
That’s the upside. There are also big downsides. There’s good reason to believe that Clarissa, who is bilingual and has a marketing degree, would have been successful in a multitude of careers. She never got the chance.
And as the kids grew older, living on one salary was a squeeze financially. I come from a long line of cheapskates. But I’ve been made cheaper because it was tough supporting three kids — particularly putting the eldest two through college — on one salary.
Periodically, I bring up the subject of Clarissa rejoining the work force. It’s not so much the extra money, though I do worry about our household being completely dependent on one wage earner in a contracting economy. Mostly, I just think she’s ready for something new, and she’s very talented.