Thought we could all use a yuck…
NEW YORK — A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto
Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra
movement.
Mr. Gonzales did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI
with carrying weapons of math instruction.
“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzales said. “They desire solutions by
means and extremes, and ! sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute
values.”
“They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as
‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.”
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to
every triangle’.”
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given
us more fingers and toes.”