Darling PreTeenDaughter:
Since you asked, yes, I AM the “meanest” mother of all your friends’ mothers. As you can see, this doesn’t bother me. Not because I am mean. Because I love you. That doesn’t mean that you have to be thrilled about every decision I make.
Yes, that embarrasses you. But not as much as if I walked around in public with my finger up my nose to the first knuckle, or wearing a muumuu with sandals and hairy legs, or with dirty hair and a cigarette hanging from my lip.
You will NOT wear the word “Juicy” across your behind– temporarily or permanently.
You WILL ingest protein of some kind each day.
You will NOT raise your voice to your parents in public– and even when you do it in private, there will be consequences.
You WILL read before you get to watch TV.