Five Year Old Handcuffed for Tantrum

Florida is making news again: This time, having handcuffed a five-year old black girl, of course, but after her tantrum was over.
What impressed me was the incompetence of Nicole Dibenedetto, the new assistant principal of Fairmont Park Elementary school. This principal had just been through Crisis Prevention training and, I suppose, was following the rules and procedures she had learned there. It doesn’t say much about the competence of the training either.
Any parent who has had to handle the typical and not that unusual tantrum from a 5-year-old will recognize both the child’s behavior and the thorough lack of knowledge this principal has in handling children.
Here is the recent link to the news report that has links to the video. Total video time is about 30 minutes. Report and Video

29 thoughts on “Five Year Old Handcuffed for Tantrum”

  1. That’s a total falsehood. The administrator and the teacher handled the situation perfectly.
    This child is seriously behavior disordered. Her behavior is NOT normal for a five-year-old child.
    Besides, her MOTHER called the police when the little girl was three years old.
    That behavior was NOT a tantrum but abnormal behavior by a child who was DESTROYING property and fighting back.
    Some people need to get a clue about the difference between “tantrums” and serious psychological problems.

  2. Sorry, but your absolutely wrong!
    This was a simple tantrum, having seen them before, and having successfully dealt with them. It’s really easy.
    What I saw from the teachers, and principal, was simply repeating, “Stop, don’t do that. That’s not acceptable.”, etc, ad nauseum. Then tracking the kid with arms out to prevent the child from going in a certain direction — which wasn’t successful. And doing the same things (that were not working!) for 20-30 minutes.
    As Einstein said: “Insanity is doing the same things over and over again, and expecting different results.” These adults are clearly insane.
    Completely, idiotic. The principal and teacher have no repertoire for changing their behavior to fit the needs of the child and situation, or didn’t show any. I could program a robot to be more intelligent!
    Kids do get mad and do “destroy” property when angry and when they have lost control of themselves. And your labeling of a child having a simple tantrum as having “psychological problems” ispsycho-babble.
    Clearly this adults have no skill in dealing with children. Of engaging them, of redirecting them, of listening to them. Did you hear any of these adults trying to engage the child? No.
    Did you hear the adults address the child with any degree of care in their voice, in their tone, in their sentences? No!
    Trying things like:
    “Hi, dear. I see your pretty angry.”
    “What happened in class today?”
    “I understand. You are angry about having the teacher take away your jelly beans. ”
    etc, etc.
    They were in dictator mode, and that seems to be the only mode they know.
    Dealing with children is not rocket science — it’s not hard, it’s not complicated.
    And the absurdity of raising the mother as an example of good parenting — I think not!
    I suggest you get some training in handling children. You clearly don’t have a clue.

  3. I THINK THE SCHOOL OVER ACTED.THE CHILD SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO SIT IN THE OFFICE UNTIL HER MOTHER MADE IT TO THE SCHOOL.THE POLICE ALSO OVER RE-ACTED.WHEN THEY MADE IT TO THE SCHOOL,THE CHILD WAS CALM.THERE WAS NO NEED TO HANDCUFF HER.

  4. I believe the police were justified in handcuffing the child. I am a teacher in an urban public school system, and first….the general public really doesn’t have a clue as to the behavioral problems some children have. The girl was engaged in assaulting the adult and destroying the room. It is common practice in my school district that out of control students are handcuffed for their protection and the protection of others. The truth is, the administrator spent 30 minutes trying to calm the child down. The videotape was apparantly made by school staff to document this child’s behavior. The general public will be surprised ant the number of parents I have heard over the years tell me that they cannot control their children or they are afraid of their children. I agree, it is very unfortunate that the child had to be handcuffed, however, what do you think that administrator should have done. Many people would have grown tired of the behavior, the punching and tearing up of the room long before the 30 minutes are up. If public schools cannot physically restrain students (not teachers or administrators, but the duties would come from security guard and in this case, LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS WE COMMONLY CALL POLICE….cannot handcuff out of control students), you will see a continued rise in school violence, and more professionals leave the field of public education, and fewer willing to take jobs as teachers. Currently, statistics show that 50% of new teachers entering the field, will quit and never return before their fifth year. I agree, for those persons not working in public education it may seem harsh and severe….but trust me folks, the administration and police were absolutely correct in how they handled that situation in this educator’s opinion.

  5. I think that the situation is typical of our society. We over-react to the situation instead of using good common sense (which seems not to be so common anymore. Why did the administrator feel the need to follow the child with a video camera for the entire incident as if she were some type of case specimen? I have been a parent volunteer in the classroom & I have worked at a daycare & this was not appropriate re-direct of a student. I understand when an administrator is frustrated but an outburst by a 5 year old does not justify being humiliated nationwide.

  6. I agree that this is the most insane obnoxious thing that I have ever witnessed. Have these people gone mad! Since when do you arrest a 5 year old for a tantrum. Schools should train teachers and have a plan ready to deal with out of control behaviors because they are inevitable. CHILDREN GET OUT OF CONTROL- it is foreseeable – so have a plan to deal with it. It seems as if these teachers knew they were being video taped and put on this show of pretending to calm the girl down just so they would have a reason (when evitably their tactics didn’t work) to have the police handcuff her and take her away. Its clear that the teacher and the principal have no business being any where near children because they simply do not have the ability / the capacity to deal with them. I do not blame the police officers because they are not held to know anything about teaching and training children. The school officials are however. They should be fired and banned from being around children…period!

  7. I agree completely with Mr. Brown’s statements regarding this incident. I am currently a college senior and I do not have children however, what do the people that feel this is wrong think the staff should have done with the little girl? I do feel that maybe they should have found a different room to place the girl into until her mother or in this case the police officers arrived. They should not have put her in the vice principals office where there was the chance of the little girl destroying the office.
    As for the behavior of the little girl right before the police handcuffed her… I don’t know about any of you, but when I see a police officer, whether I am driving my car, or causing a scene when I am out with friends, I always tend to change the way I am acting to show that I am under control. What human being do you know that is not afraid of authority to where if they were causing a tantrum or problem would continue with their actions? That is why I also believe that the girl was just throwing a tantrum because she was able to regain her composure once the police arrived. If she had “psychological problems” she would have continued on with what she was doing and would have had no remorse to the police officers being there.
    This is the only way the staff at the school was able to get the little girl under control. Think about it… they can’t touch her, and if they did this would be a whole different story. Then the school would be in trouble for touching the girl to get her under control. The police are supposed to do that type of work. That is what they are there for, “to serve and protect”, and that is exactly what they were doing in more reasons than one.
    So for all you people out there that feel the school is wrong in doing what they did, maybe you should explain what you would have done to the little girl to get her under control, because from the looks of things the parents were not in control either. Children grow and learn based on the actions of their surroundings, they mimic others behaviors, and apparently she has shown that she can get away with things like this so I am assuming her parents did not have a problem with it.
    One last note… to any of you out there that have children… so if you saw the video tape of your child destroying an office of a school official, and punching and hitting them, you would be competely ok with it? You would not feel that the your child should be punished for that behavior? If so, you have something else to worry about!

  8. I commend the teachers and law enforcement for their handling of the situation. Without the video the school would have been liable for all types of law suits. We have become a nation with a mindset of ‘sue, sue, sue’, even if we know we are wrong. They should have handcuffed the child to stop any damage. What does a 5 year old think, when they can swing at the adult authority? The administration is extremely limited with what they could do in regard to restraining the child. When the child spotted the police entering the office she calmed her behind down. Then she wanted to cry because they restrained her and she could not have her way. Good! Let her cry and let her mother and her lawyer see the video tape. If any question is asked, it should be “what does this child see or experience in her home life, that makes her think she can act out in this manner with no reprocussions?

  9. There is no way Tstew, Winkler, ternell and Cdouglin have experience with kids. Get your head out of a Dr Spock book and deal with reality! Kids out-think and out-manipulate most adults. They get away with it because people tend to think that their minds would not allow them to think in such a manner. I am third oldest of ten kids and have raised five without a police record in a not so nice area of VA. I commend the school administrators on the handling of the situation. Thank God for video cameras. They show what words cannot clearly explain. They eradicate the ‘grey’ area for all the legalized mumbo-jumbo and allow the parent to see and hear exactly what took place.

  10. Ignorance is bliss, isn’t it? Go work in a daycare or in a school where you have to deal with kids like this. There’s no way in hell I would be able to, but my wife does this and she has a perfectly level head, as did Nicole Dibenedetto and the teacher involved with this. They maintained non-violence, which is required, and did the best they could in a tough situation. Some people may think calling the police was too extreme, but what the police did was not caused by the teacher or the asst. principal. They could have waited for the parent, and the kid could have gotten worse and hurt herself or others. She was behaving dangerously, and her caregivers did what was best. Period.

  11. The fact of the matter is, the child was not willing to listen. You can’t blame this on the teacher. I’m tired of people sticking their nose in situations and trying to make it a bigger deal only with the intentions of making themselves look better, regardless of how bad or unresponsible they make another person look/feel. The same people arguing that the adults at this school have no children skills, would have argued that the teacher should of just let her be and waited for the officers if she would have raised her hand at the child. The truth is, no matter how the teacher reacted to the child’s tantrum, there would be people who disagree, either for publicity, or for self-amusement in blowing situations out of proportion. I happen to believe that the situation was handled quite well. Every child needs attention, ever child needs discipline. You give them attention to an extent, and to an extent “you”(teacher) discipline.

  12. OUTRAGEOUS! Apparently you guys don’t have children. This is what should have been done: The teacher should have taken control of the situation by telling the child “because your behavior is so out of control, I’m going to put you in seclusion (time out or whatever)” and then SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE SO. Not emptied the classroom and followed the child around it like she was trying to tame a wild animal. She didn’t have the time and obviously not the skill for it. If you saw the video then you would have seen that the child took a seat and sat there when the police came. Them handcuffing her was completely unnecessary and unprofessional. They didn’t even talk to her nor did they assess the situation themselves. – ABSURD!
    If you saw video then you would see that it was soooo obvious that this teacher and others at the school was preparing for this whole event in advance with cameras and the scripted “this is not acceptable” language. This teacher never had any intentions of calming this girl down. It was so made for TV. I hope this teacher gets an award because she sure went out for one.

  13. I am a teacher in Texas. The child was obviously violent. When anyone, whether it is a child or an adult, is endangering the lives of others, especially other kids, the police should be called. In an earlier comment someone said that “What I saw from the teachers, and principal, was simply repeating, “Stop, don’t do that. That’s not acceptable.”, etc, ad nauseum. Then tracking the kid with arms out to prevent the child from going in a certain direction — which wasn’t successful. And doing the same things (that were not working!) for 20-30 minutes”… what would have happened if that kid had punched another student or seriously injured another student? Can you say lawsuit? Did the person who posted earlier think it was okay for the kid to run out of the room and wreck havoc on the rest of the school? The girl had to be contained. I think the police were absolutely justified. This was not a tantrum. I have a six year old, I should know about tantrums. This child needs to be suspended from school until a solution can be found such as alternative school, psychological evaluations, etc. It is simply not fair to all the other students or the staff at the school. We just don’t get paid enough to deal with this sort of thing. I don’t feel sorry for the child at all, I just think she needs help and it his her mother’s responsibility to pursue that help. When is everyone going to stop blaming the school system, police, etc. and put the blame on where it needs to be?

  14. I don’t care what anybody says i have three kids of my own, you can’t tell me that child could’nt be controled the child new that the assistant principle was a pushover thats why she acted that way. If the asst principle showed some authority and instructed the child in an strong authoritive way then none of this would have happened,but i also blame the the parent(s)because if you have good discipline at home more then likely children will not act up when they’re away from home

  15. Oh I almost forgot, I totally agree with kimberly This is the only way the staff at the school was able to get the little girl under control. Think about it… they can’t touch her, and if they did this would be a whole different story. Then the school would be in trouble for touching the girl to get her under control. Thats why kids act the way they do in school now days because they know that the school can’t physically control them.So like i said before it starts in the home

  16. People can say put the little girl in another room but we don’t know the school. Our schools are so overcrowded, often there is not a free room in the whole school… schools utilize every room for small groups, tutorials, PTA, etc. The school should have done this, the school should have done that… sounds to me like the girl needs to be put in a psychiatric center, she obviously needs discipline. Our society is making exuses for this kind of behavior, justifying it, trying to “positive reinforce” these negative behaviors to death. I firmly believe in tough love. If it was my child I would not want the school to go easy on my child if there was that much of an outburst. The school and police were absolutely right.

  17. Sounds to me like this mother didn’t raise her child right… this was more serious than a tantrum… why would she hire a lawyer now to sue knowing good and well her daughter had done wrong? What kind of example is she setting for her kid in this sue-happy world we live in? She is sending out the message that its okay to punch authority, be violent and defiant of the rules. The mother is seeing this as her opportunity to get some money.

  18. I am appalled at the opinion that the school did not handle the situation well. I am a recent college graduate and I have made up my mind not to enter the education field. What happened to the days of when teachers and principles had the power in schools. That girl apparently does not have a good example at home to follow. I know that it is hard for single mothers (especially minority ones) but my mother never raised me to act out at school the way that little girl did. We live in a world where everyone wants to litigate and psychoanalyze everything, bottom line is this was what we call a child who needed a good bottom smacking and a good tounge lashing. For any of you anti-corporal punishment gurus out there yeah I said it. Spankings when applied properly are not abuse, it is a learning tool as a matter of fact it is one of the oldest and primitive ways in which we learn. Stimulus and response, cause and effect, if you stick your hand in fire you see that it burns and you learn not to do it anymore. When the rat goes into the wrong room in the maze he gets shocked, but he learns to go into the other room to get the cheese. Now put that in your analytical pipes and smoke it. Lets take it back to the days when we really discipline our kids and I promise that a lot of our social problems involving youth will disappear. P.S. LETS DO AWAY WITH THAT TIMEOUT MESS.

  19. I agree with how the situation was handled. As an educator, I have experience with children like the little girl on the video. This type of behavior begins at that age, and it has to be stopped. When are parents going to be held responsible for their children’s actions? When is society going to back teacher’s up? The teacher turn over rate is increasing due to children like this so called “tantrum child.” Grow up America, and take some responsibility for how you are raising these unruly kids!!!!!!!!!

  20. This child is clearly showing the diagnostic signs of ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorders), which is defiant, negative, and noncomplaint behavior. Although this behavior does not clearly violate social norms it may progress to conduct disorders; which are criminal behavior, antisocial personality, substance abuse, and mood disorders in adulthood. One of the basic principles of treatment for personality disorders is to stop trying to rescue this children. Such behavior only leads to excessive dependancy, the child needs to be held accountable, and needs to be encouraged to make his/her on decisions. We as adults need to take a collaborative stand and be their partners when it comes to shaping their behavior, they will blame us or authority figures if something goes wrong in the future. They will not blame themselves for future criminal behavior that they had control over.

  21. I would think it is important for someone to know a little bit about the system before they started commenting about it. The teachers can’t touch the students no matter what… what else were they supposed to do? They kept calm and dealt with the situation accordingly to the rules and then handed over the issue to the officers. Was the police wrong to handcuff the child? no! why would they be? The child is obviously violent. I guess all these people complaining would have rather the child keep hiting others as well as destroying things?… what if she hurt herself? I think it’s ridiculous to put blame on the teachers and police. Children need to understand the they are responsible for their actions. Consequences such as punishment (yes in this case having to be handcuffed and put a patrol car until her mom came) is necessary in this society. A five year old can distinguis right and wrong and if her mom is not teaching her these essential lessons at home then it’s up to other to do so.

  22. Please let’s not pull the race card! I am a single, black mother of a six year old black girl, and if my child was to ever become disrespectful or unruly to anyone, under any circumstances, at any time, she will be dealt with by me, and vice-versa. That situation should have never gone that far!
    Discipline and behaviorial adjustments of children should began in the home. It appears that this mother is inadequate in child-rearing. Mom needs to go back to the ol’ skool, and I don’t mean school of education!

  23. Shame on you!
    The world is in a pretty sad shape
    – if a five-year old can be handcuffed
    – and some people find it OK …
    there is something to do about such situations:
    it is called education
    (oh, what would that be?)
    ann stevens

  24. So for some of you this is not a case for the officers, this is a chance to point the finger at a bad mother – OH PLEASE! If that’s the case then let’s free all the jailed convicts and let their mothers serve the remaining time. “Officer it’s my mom’s fault as to why I’m in the back seat of this police car with handcuffs…arrest her!”
    STOP BLAMING HER MOTHER…THIS WAS A STUPID DECISION MADE BY AN INCOMPETENT PRINICIPAL, AND THE BUMBLING POLICE: OFFICER’S “DUMB” AND “DUMBER”. This situation could have been handled in so many different ways (positive solutions). Unfortunatley, it snowballed south …past GO… headed straight to HELL!!!
    A day of bad decision making that will BURN all involved: the girl, the mother, the administrator(s), the police, and the state of Florida.

  25. I hate to think that there was no other way to handle this child, then to handcuff her. And, the purpose of the video tape; that was for the protection of the school.If this is acceptable behavior, to handcuff every unruly child, then the majority of children in special education classes would be handcuffed on a daily basis. Make up your minds please, is this severe psychological abnormal behavior? Or is this a temper tantrum? If adults can’t agree on the behavior of the child. It is no wonder we can’t agree on the discipline either. Why was the “ADULT” antagonizing the child? Did she try to defuse the situation? NO, did she try to ignore the situation ? We all know ignoring a tantrum is highly successful. I am sorry, but not all five year olds are capable of handling their emotions in a civilized and controlled way, that is what the adult is for, isn’t it? Oh, but then we have adults that can’t control their emotional outbursts either. And as for trying to diffuse the situation? I don’t think following the child like a hunter,ready to pounce on their prey, hardly qualifies. The irritation and dislike for the child came through loud and clear on the video tape. One last comment, take some Child Development Classes, if you want to teach it helps tremendously!!!

  26. Hmmmm… ignore a child punching a principal? Ignore destruction of school property? Your nuts!!! That’s what’s wrong with our society. We make exuses and ignore early signs of psychosis. These are the kids that turn out to be serial killers, rapists, abusers. This kid is NOT innocent and neither is the mother. Schools need to do whatever means necessary to protect the staff and students.

  27. no, I am not nuts, I have worked with children in various schools, children act out aggressively. I hate to think that there was no other recourse other than to handcuff a five year old. My point is that if the child is not normal, as seems to be the opinion of most of the responses posted, why wasnt’ the school psychologist called in, to try to talk to the child? If that was tried, it wasn’t mentioned. The child is a student herself, and by ignoring the situation, I mean that following the child around telling NO, you won’t do this and NO you won’t do that, is not helping the situation. Have you ever worked retail? Do you know how many grown men and women throw things and yell and are out of control everyday? They are not all escorted by policemen out of the store. My point is that we as adults are supposed to be more intelligent than a five year old. A five year old may know right from wrong; but they may not be able to control their emotions. There should have been a school psychologist there to access the situation. Obviously, there is more to this story then we know, but there also has to be a solution to this other than handcuffing a five year old. Adults yell and throw tantrums all the time but that is called being a mature grown up expressing an opinion. We lead by example!!

  28. no, I am not nuts, I have worked with children in various schools, children act out aggressively. I hate to think that there was no other recourse other than to handcuff a five year old. My point is that if the child is not normal, as seems to be the opinion of most of the responses posted, why wasnt’ the school psychologist called in, to try to talk to the child? If that was tried, it wasn’t mentioned. The child is a student herself, and by ignoring the situation, I mean that following the child around telling NO, you won’t do this and NO you won’t do that, is not helping the situation. Have you ever worked retail? Do you know how many grown men and women throw things and yell and are out of control everyday? They are not all escorted by policemen out of the store. My point is that we as adults are supposed to be more intelligent than a five year old. A five year old may know right from wrong; but they may not be able to control their emotions. There should have been a school psychologist there to access the situation. Obviously, there is more to this story then we know, but there also has to be a solution to this other than handcuffing a five year old. Adults yell and throw tantrums all the time but that is called being a mature grown up expressing an opinion. We lead by example!!

  29. As a customer in a retail store, if I saw another customer screaming and throwing things I would hope that the authorities would be called. I would not want to be subjected to that nor my children. I think violent outbursts by anyone, any age, should not be tolerated. Maybe if we had zero tolerance and stuck to it in society regarding all public places, our country would be a safer place to live. I know firsthand how long a special education referral takes… sometimes it can take years and often is halted due to the parents failing to take care of their part (such as if the child needs glasses and part of the referral calls for the child to take a sight test and the child has lost their glasses and despite parent given FREE voucher after voucher from the school nurse the parent STILL does not provide the child with the glasses he/she needs to take the test OR another situation being hearing- the child SCREAMS and WAILS during a simple hearing test needed to proceed with a referral and the nurse cannot get the child to calm down… the parents then say they will go get hearing tested elsewhere, meanwhile the nurse keeps trying with the same behavior each time by the student and the parent NEVER gets the hearing tested outside of school… this is another example. There are MANY reasons referrals are slow and often halted… also, with all the new guidelines the state of Texas (my state) puts on about first the child has to be monitored by an intervention teacher for months, then all the paperwork, then the testing takes forever… etc.) It may be down on paper that if a parent requests special education testing the process is sped up but in reality, it just doesn’t work that way. I feel that if the child is handcuffed for hitting an adult, endangering herself and others around as well as destruction of property then the child should be handcuffed. This should be an example to others that if you break the rules in school as well as go out into the world and break the law there will be a serious consequence. What is this telling other children if the child had a slap on the wrist such as detention for such deplorable behavior? It says to the other kids, when you don’t like rules you can be defiant and get away with it. I think the school was absolutely right and the police as well. Do what needs to be done to protect our kids. In the long run, maybe this girl sees that what she did is wrong and will think twice before throwing a “tantrum” again… but probably not because everyone is defending the child’s actions and making exuses. Heck, the mother who called the police on the same child previously is now out for money by trying to sue. The mom is seeing an opportunity and taking it. What kind of REALITY are we as a society showing this child? If you ask me a false immoral one in which the solution is to blame others for her mistakes and milk people for money… its just pathetic that you people buy into all this and let this happen.

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