Maybe you didn’t hear me. I really, really, really want it.

Sean Willams:

Child: I see. I see. So you’re saying this is dinner.

Me: It’s getting cold.

Child: But this is whole pieces of food that you’ve just … cooked.

Me: Yes. We’re eating something healthy for dinner.

Child: How can we be sure this is healthy?

Me: It’s healthy. And it’s dinner. Eat it.

Child: I had cold pizza and Skittles for breakfast, and then I got a 100 on my spelling test.

Me: You’ve stumbled into post hoc ergo propter hoc there, buddy, and that hasn’t worked since the second century.

Child: PERHAPS IF I EXPLAINED THAT I DON’T WANT IT.